Summer 2013, for Love Light Romania a time of emotional highs & lows. The lows tinged with great sadness as we watch one of our dear, long term service users, dealing with the final stage of AIDS. Providing services for end of life care means having an holistic approach so that the time for everyone concerned is gentle and peaceful. M understands what is happening to her, at the first realization it showed in her eyes, in her fear she clung on to anything that would give her hope. Her denial that she was infected with HIV had finally won and for a while continued in victory, she became loud and agitated, pushing her partner and family away, not acknowledging that she was un-steady on her feet, that the pain in her lungs and throat was not an infection that could be cured.
In the last few days she has been calmer, due to medication, this gives her a clearer view on the situation and what is happening to her. She is putting everything in order, wants to make an appeal on film to raise funding for her daughter after she has gone. This is her way of taking control, for a little while, as she hangs on to her last days on this earth.
So right now Love Light Romania is consumed with end of life care and planning the summer activity program and welcoming visitors. Sometimes it does not seem correct to be happy at the prospect of meeting new friends and enjoying seeing the plans come together to make the brightest summer activity program ever for the children and teenagers. No more summer camps for M, but she leaves us with memories of camps in the past that she took part in.
M’s time, for how ever long that may take, will be filled with saying goodbyes, her five year old daughter does not understand, her partner in his denial does not see this situation with the same eyes as M and her HIV family. There are whispers once again of “which one of us next” and once again we will stand united at a graveside, at this low time we will have memories of the highs that we shared.
